Strong

Let’s start where we are

At the end of my rope again

Wanting to kill my body to liberate my spirit

Free myself from the grips of your jealousy

Your hands can’t grasp the air, can’t contain that which is intangible

Only the heart can do that

I want to throw a wrench and stop the drama-go-round with a screeching halt

Would it shake you awake from the illusion of reality?

Would it finally lift your veil?

I have felt hunted by you my whole life

How refreshing to be the one to hold the knife

I want to get out of my own way

I balance a negative thought with a positive one

Remind myself that I create my life each moment through perception, attention, intention

Even now, you are another a poppy in the field, trying to keep me knocked out instead of awake, empowered, enlightened

Wrapped up in visions of destruction, I remind myself that I have a choice every moment

I turn my mind’s eye to that which uplifts me, and give a wink

How much more energy would I have for that which I love if I let go of that which I loathe?

I don’t have to prove that I am strong anymore

I don’t have to take your shit anymore

You are the one who needs strength

At my best, I pray for you and the healing of our relationship

At my worst, I fantasize about taking a shit on your grave