OK Heart

OK Heart

I am not OK
I want to bury myself in the earth
So that no one can hurt me anymore

I want to wrap myself up in mud
And lie perfectly still
Hidden from sight so that men can no longer use me to satisfy their carnal cravings

My body will cease to feel the countless violations it has suffered
Once I let myself melt into the soil
No longer having to sweat and toil
My blood and muscles will go to good use
Nourishing the flowers and trees
I want to disappear
And be reborn as part of Mother Earth herself

At night I lie awake
Too tired to move but too terrified to sleep
I feel the beasts of anxiety devour me alive
Vultures and wolves rip the flesh off my rib cage
They tear me to pieces, gnawing ravenously at my bones
‘Don’t forget to eat my heart’ I remind them

I wonder if the night will ever end
Yet the dawn breaks
And I managed to sleep a little somehow
Despite the night’s howl

Ever hopeful at the sight of a new day,
I bow within and say
‘OK heart, let’s live another day’

Let’s drum on, although we sometimes skip a beat
Let’s give today our best, from our head to our feet
And for the Love of God, let’s try to remember to breathe deep
Let’s meet ourselves with kindness, and kindness for all we meet